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Sunday, October 7, 2012

Something Random: "Moments from Verde's Therapy"


Verde: Hello everyone! How is everyone? It's a new school year and I guess all students are getting the hang of using their brains again. Well, all the students except for nerds like us.
LY: For the record, I am not embarrassed. That's Verde’s job. I would like to think of myself as the cooler, more suave, awesome-er, non--reject, and substance abuse free version of our Verde. But don't worry, Verde has seeks help from her problem so our next couple of posts will mention her struggles with coming clean! We must be there for her in her time of need explanation point why don't we look at one of Verde’s sessions with her therapist!
(In some stuffy New York office where our very own has been…ahem… Coerced to going to buy a concerned LY)
THERAPIST: So, Verde. May I ask why you are here today?
VERDE: I ain't here for therapy, and I'm not on drugs! Quit trying to get me committed to a mental institution where there is nothing wrong with me! If you want to worry about anyone's sanity, I suggest you worry about yours! You're the delusional one thinking I have drug problems when I don't even take pills unless they're prescribed me personally. Don't try to corrupt the minds of those who read this! Away with you!
THERAPIST: Now Verde, who said anything about you being on drugs? That leads me to believe that she would do indeed have an issue.   You are lucky to have a brave and amazing friend in LY! Now, why don't we talk about where your dependency stems from? I think it must stem from your unusual name. I have to say that you are the 1st person I have met that has been named after a color.
VERDE: Whatchu tryin’ teh say? Your name is just therapist! I feel it these roles should be switched ‘cuz anyone named “therapist” by their parents must suffer some issues. Did you ever get teased in school? Yeah, I'm not surprised. And LY, you better stop these crazy paranoias, that is until they come true *cough* zombie apocalypse *cough.* 
THERAPIST: (in an eerily calm voice) Now Verde, I would usually have to issue medication to patients like you, but because I can see past your ruse, and I know that you are just saying these things as a cry for help. Just know that your friend and I are here for you, it's okay…
LY: I think this may be the last of “moments from Verde's therapy.” It’s ok guys, not only is she “in recovery” but she can kick ass! *cheers and does a weird mix between the robot and the running man*  

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